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Smokers Unite!

Friday, August 20, 2004


Smoking is stupid. People are educated. Are educated people who smoke stupid?

Well, Health Canada thinks so. They want to change the labels on cigarette packs so that those who are less literate than government officials will be able to understand them. They think the picture of the lung beside a caption that reads "smoking causes lung cancer" isn't clear enough for those illiterate smoker types out there. They want to revise, upgrade, make it better. They want those packs to really say something. What? Well, they don't know. As the representative of Health Canada mentioned, "that's the challenge!" She suggested maybe a skull and crossbones, or something people understand, not the current picturesque lung or heart on the sleeve.

I wonder if I could suggest something that would help make Health Canada's expensive and very worthwhile (clears throat) campaign even more worthwhile? How about a hologram of a person falling down and bleeding severely with the caption "smoking=death" on it? Wait, maybe we need more words. How about "You are a smoker. Smoking causes lung cancer. You will die of lung cancer." That way, they'll know that the picture is for them. Or maybe they don't know what cancer is? Maybe we need to go so far as to educate the stupid smokers by printing bits of wit and information on the cigarettes themselves, like text books! People will be educated as they smoke! Then they'll definitely quit! We can look forward to a revolution! Smokers unite!

Or, maybe cigarettes are actually addictive. I dunno, why don't we try using cigarettes as text books first... just to figure out if it works - and then if it doesn't work, we can start another expensive program to solve the government's quandary.

(my other idea was just to print the word "DEATH" in big bold print in the space where the picture and caption used to be. But that's too simple for the Government of Canada).

posted by James
Friday, August 20, 2004

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